A Bonkers B'day bash that every Peepshow fan has been waiting for..Theo Walcott becomes 3-0 Walcott!

For one night only, Bethnal Green Working Mens Club will be transformed into the Swan and Paedo, in celebration of Theo Walcott becoming 3-0 Walcott – and we've agreed not to argue about whether that's a good idea or not.

Real life DJ; Big Mad Andy (who promises he won’t be drinking paint or punching himself) will be playing Peep Show classics all evening. We're not sure what that entails either but he's dead excited.

At 11.59, there will be a monumentous count down to the big moment..that every Peepshow fan (and Jeremy) has been waiting for....the moment when Theo becomes 3-0. 

Peep Show themed cocktails, naans and Crunchy Nut will be available throughout the night to kick you hombres off.

If you like Crunchy Nut cornflakes but can’t face reality, Frosties are also avaiable.

Need a break from the Moroccan cocktails? Why not swing by a pay respects to a shrine celebrating the life of Gerard?

Or take a seat at your new JLB Credit desk for a spot of Blitzkrieg?

Or visit the on-site make up artist, to get “love you” written on your eyelids? "Chance would be a fine thing" I hear you cry.

Well lucky for you, there will also be chance galore as organisers 'Dobby Club' raffle off some niche and quite useless Peep Show prizes!

Are you more of a neurotic and paranoid Mark, or a lazy and sexually dysfunctional Jez?

You'll get the chance to find out which of the El Dude brothers you are, right before a Rainbow Rhythms dance off and a yard of ale drinking competition.

Puke points will be provided.

Honda are very interested.