RT @CamdenPT: "Safety is a priority. Comfort? No. Which is not to say Trigger Warning is just uncomfortable, it’s a lot of things." Check…
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We've gone on holiday by mistake

... and some other quotes from rather a good film. If you can name it, I'll buy you a drink. Just one, mind you.

• We want the finest wines available to humanity, we want them here, and we want them now.

• I feel like a pig shat in my head.

• I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze.

• I want something's flesh.

• Don't threaten me with a dead fish.

• I'm going to pull your head off, because I don't like your head.

• I have a heart condition. If you hit me, it's murder.

• Look at that. "Accident Blackspot"? These aren't accidents. They're throwing themselves into the road gladly. Throwing themselves into the road to escape all this hideousness.

• Warm up? We may as well sit round this cigarette. This is ridiculous. We'll be found dead in here next spring.

• What happened to my cigar commercial? What happened to my agent? Bastard must have died.

• These are the sort of windows faces look in at.

• Right, here's the plan. First, we go in there and get wrecked, then we eat a pork pie, then we drop a couple of Surmontil-50's each, means we'll miss out on Monday and come up smiling Tuesday morning.

• This place has become impossible. Nothing to eat, freezing cold and now a madman on the prowl outside with eels.

• If I ever see that silage-heap hanging about up here, I'll take the bastard axe to him. Bastards!

• Throw yourself into the road, darling - you haven't got a chance.

• I fail to see my family's of any interest to you. I've absolutely no interest in yours. I dislike relatives in general and in particular mine.

• I must say, that represents a level of hypocrisy in you that I'd previously suspected, but not noticed due to your highly evasive skills.

• Why can't I have an audition? It's ridiculous. I've been to drama school. I'm good looking. I tell you, I've a fuck sight more talent that half the rubbish that gets on television. Why can't I get on television?


• As a youth I used to weep in butcher's shops.

• Laissez-moi respirer longtemps, longtemps, l'odeur de tes cheveux!' Brings back such memories of Oxford.

• Come on lads, let's get home, the sky's beginning to bruise, night must fall and we shall be forced to camp.

• Flowers are simply tarts; prostitutes for the bees.
• I mean to have you, boy, even if it must be burglary.

• There is a certain 'je ne sais quoi' about a firm, young carrot...

• I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium.

• It's the most devastating moment in a young mans life, when he quite reasonably says to himself, "I shall never play The Dane!" It is at that moment that all ambition ceases to exist.

• Indeed I often wonder where Norman is now. Probably wintering with his mother in Guildford. A cat, rain, Vim under the sink, and both bars on. But old now, there is no true beauty without decay.

And, off course...

• I invented it in Camberwell, and it looks like a carrot.

• I don't advise a haircut, man. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Hairs are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos, and transmit them directly into the brain. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.

• The greatest decade in the history of mankind is coming to an end and as Presuming Ed here has so consistently pointed out, we have failed to paint it black.

• London is a country coming down from its trip. We are 91 days from the end of this decade and there's going to be a lot of refugees

• Change down, man. Find your neutral space. You gotta rush. It'll pass. Be seated.

• They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworth's, man.

• This'll tend to make you very high.

• This doll is extremely dangerous. It has voodoo qualities