Let’s begin this dirty little excuse of a love affair with a brief intro to get the niceties out of the way. Then we can kick back with a glass of Sancerre and get down to business. Me: 20 something stylist, writer, co-owner of a fashion website and fully paid up member of the fashion fascists of Great Britain. You: new devoted reader. I don’t even mind if it’s out of utter disdain.

Moving on….

LFW
February was the month of the ubiquitous London Fashion Week. I came across seated tickets to see the Jens Laugesen show amongst others. No one seemed to care that I wasn’t Yoshi Tamisuco, fashion buyer for most of Japan (next years tix in my own name please organisers). All very tailored and lots of midnight blue. Highlights included laughing at the disjointed models and an increasing fascination with Erin O’Connor’s conk. What my mother would call a ‘strong nose’. Special mention to her blouse though, a gorgeous take on the lumberjack shirt with puff sleeves and a pussy bow tie. To be honest I was more interested in who noticed me in my hat haute homage to the dearly departed Izzy Blow. Also in attendance ‘Samanda’ and token WAG. Though why they were interested clothes that actually covers the body, je ne sais pas!

Best side only please.
February has also been a whirl of photo shoots as my fashion ‘projects’ are beginning to take off. A number of magazines where clamouring at my door. Full advantage was taken of hair and make up swiftly followed by pub, mine’s a G&T please, with new polished look. More on that later. All clothes models own of course. I wouldn’t be seen in anything but my own collection darling! One has had to develop a pose that hides the perennial double chin (I am a size 8, where does it come from??).Tiring but less hard work than last months TV appearance. One just hopes that that this can be sustained without having to resort to less savoury tactics.

Out with the bling and in with the kerching
I recently styled a sweet young singer who will be hot hot hot soon for her up and coming video shoot. A blend of old and new did the trick, including some saucy 50’s playsuits. She wanted a ‘style’ and by god I gave her one. We veered away from that awful urban look that one just can’t pull off from shopping in Primarni to something far more interesting with a healthy dollop of retro sauce. Her manger pulled me aside and whispered ‘That should make her more bankable in the eyes of the record execs’.

Gossip this week:
Which rock sprog was waxing unlyrical about all and sundry recently in my local? The victims – Posh, Lily, Keira and co – the terms ‘mouth like a badgers arse’, ‘not much more than a pout’ and ‘Chav’ were uttered at various intervals. Don’t these people know that East London is chocka with pretentious fashion journos? She should count herself lucky that it was picked up by someone as discreet as moi. When it all got a bit tiresome I thankfully had a renowned DJ and Calvin Klein model and his friend (member of the indie glitterati) to keep me entertained. Double yummy.

Party of the month:
Launch of vintagesecret.com at Bethnal Green Working Men’s Club. A veritable feast for 50’s tunes, popcorn and a dressing up corner complete with oversized gilt frame for party portraits. Guests were ambushed by the appearance of a rival fashion blog who set about taking pics of all those who would pose.

What’s hot?
Summer shoes from Peacock – yes it’s true. 6 inch cork (no, that’s an ‘r’ not a ‘c’ I can read your dirty minds) patent leather peep toes came home with me recently. Bag turned inside out of course.

What’s not?
Dip Dye a trend SO OVER hyped that it will make you look more desperate to be noticed than drawing and anchor on one’s arm and indulging in a little self harm.

Ciao for now