Scottee

Day 1 - I DONT DO TRAINS!

First stop, Manchester! After a horrid 10am start, a bad sandwich from Upper Crust and a journey from hell sitting next to Super Nanny and her newest recruits - I arrived. I'm currently making a new film with Daniel Liddington and I'm here for the test shoot before I run up to the fringe.

Today we've trotted around all the best Mancunian hotspots. Primark - where I purchased some cute cream shades. Aflecks Palace - a huge building for goths to buy 'Nu-Grave' T-shirts & The Arndale Centre - a shopping centre where 2 or more goths walking around is forbidden - a law that should go nation-wide.

Sam at the Virgin Trains desk was rather helpfull when i asked her how much my Edinburgh ticket would be - She was a bit 'Computer says no" but got me a ticket for £15. bargain.

Tomorrow we start work on our test shoot and I leave for Edinburgh at 6pm. Manchester is a strange place. Goth's are clearly controversial and front page news is "Corrie almost killed me!"


La Celine

Day 3 - Sleep?

After an exhausting day of traveling yesterday sitting next to Rab C Nesbit look-a-likes - I have finally arrived.

This morning I woke in my flat which I'm sharing with Spaz Spelling & La Celine. After making deranged films about making tea late last night - I woke up to a pile of wigs, glasses and cups.

After crying at Jeremy Kyles "I haven't seen you in 16yrs" - We dashed out the door to see Matthew Kelly (yes, that's right 'Stars in Your Eyes' himself) in Forgotten Voice's.

I was a bit skeptical about a 90min show starting at noon about World War 1 - but as soon as the lights were up I was enthralled by the piece. Set in a gallery - 5 veterans share their stories about WW1 life, loss and loves.

So onwards with the day and production meeting at 2pm - then lunch (as you can see Spaz has already tucked in to the deep fried pizza).

Tech rehearsal at 5pm and show at 10.30pm.


Sleep?


Spaz Spelling

Day 4 - Salt N Sauce

After last nights a-mazing show we decided a celebratory drink was in-store so we headed down to Assembly Bar - an exclusive performer/producer bar in the assembly theatre.

After my pint of red wine we jumped a cab and made our way to CCBlooms - the local gay bar. Now I'm no stranger to provincial town gay bars but this was exceptionally horrific but equally amazing - The Lady boys of Bangkok meet the local boys wanting cock - a strange mix but after my 4th J.D i knew it was time to leave

Early start again this morning and we where in our first meeting at 12.30 - then a quick dash to The Green room for a fantastic show called DR SKECTHY'S - an interactive performance where the audience are invited to draw life models and get the piss taken out of them. Our life model was Empress Stah and my drawings were the best.

After a stroll up the Royal Mile, I just had to get a plate of Chips with SaltNSauce - if your Scottish or aware what SaltNSauce is you'll know why.

Tonight I have second night nerves and we look like were gonna be busy. Last night Jonny Woo & Lisa Lee came to.

Until next time.


Day 5 - BAG WIG!

After a quick march up to the dressing room to find my phone, Celine and I decided to pop in to the next show in the main house. Titled 'Adlof' - Pip Uptons story and performance behind Hitler's last hours, or so we thought.

Complete with bad wig, attire and facial hair (lent from Upton's production 'Charlie Chaplin' running an hour after) it was doomed from the start - monotonous monologues going over the same ground left me looking at the lighting rig.

After what seemed like months/20mins Upton takes off the bad attire and asks the audience for a cigarette - my accomplice Celine throws him one, after which he goes into some rant about how Hitler wasn't all that bad. A distasteful waste of resources.

Then off for a burger to kill time for the Pick of the Day - Alan Bennett's 'Talking Heads' - two 20min monologues starring local talent. The first a story of a woman who writes too many letters, after a string of controversial complaints she finds her self in prison. The second an elderly lady is left to die in her flat after receiving no help after a fall. both were moving and rather powerful.

6.10pm - 1 show and 1 performance to go! Ryan Styles and I shoot down Princess Street to find George St West theatre - After walking the block a few times we stumble into a stuffy space scarce of furniture. 'I am my own wife' - The true life Story of Charolotte von Mahlsdorf, a German transsexual who survived Nazi and Communist life still wearing heels. Google her! The story is gripping and touching - at times to heavy but well worth a peek.

Then a quick shower and shave and she's off to the theatre for a curtain call rehearsal - Showtime! Best show so far - big crowd - big claps - big bottle of wine afterwards i think!


Day 6 - What God does when Women pray!

All these early mornings are making me feel like a normal person!

I jumped out of bed at 11am - all the others were bathing in their Sunday morning hangovers, so I dashed out of the door and decided to go up to the Royal Mile - a mile long area dedicated to the fringe, with small stages, street performers and companies desperate for you to see their show!

The record holder for the most piercing was putting swords through her tongue - much to my delight and a bad out-of-drama-school company caught my eye. I moved nearer - clearly interested in how dreadful they were - They invited me to "Scotlands History is 60mins - or less" - gripping stuff.

My best Edinburgh find so far has to be the joke shop on Victoria St - every thing I could ever want half the price of London. I stocked up on the essentials (they even make black clown's noses) and hailed a cab - whit a hop, skip and a jump is was at the assembly to see "book club" I only went because it said on the flyer "now with tap dancing".

The comedy sketch, stand-up, opera and interpretive dance show had me in tears - with only jokes about books they found in Edinburgh the comedians read passages from publications like "What god doe's when women pray" & "When crabs take over the world" - I'm sure this show will tour after the fringe.

The weather is great so I strolled home - got a sausage and batter, then made my way to theatre.

n.b Scottish television is shit.


North Berwick

Day 7 - Day Off!

So we decided we had to escape for the day at the seaside. We were expecting sun, sea and sand but when we got off the station at North Berwick we were presented with tea, antiques and 5 islands, and so the adventure began.

£5.10 travel in London will get you as far as Brixton but in Scotland it gets you to paradise. Totally Amazing.

North Berwick is a bit like the orignal 'Wicker Man' - everything is perfect - from hedges to flower beds.

After a quick dash around the charity shop's (i bought the most amazing old people glasses) we ran for the sea, climbed up some rocks and got rather excited.

Then it was clearly tea time and we came across the Buttercup Cafe - think old people, think finger curls, think 1920's, think jacket potatoes. Odd but rather entertaining.

After our homemade soup, jacket and cream tea it was time to leave.

A fun day was had


Day 8 - Mexi-cunt

So I revelled in the fact that everyone was hungover as I took the raincard last night in the aim to see some new shows at the assembly.

1st one - A Glance at New York presented by Axis, A New York based theatre company who produce physical pieces. It was a bit "Gangs of New York" for my liking but the technique was excellent. 9 performers constaintly moving and repeating each other in ruffs and rags. loves it.

2nd - Callente - A slapstick Mexcian tradgey with clowns. Sounds exciting? Well when the Mexican Embassy, British Airways and The Birish arts Council are all backing it. But no. grim. boring. bad jokes about tits and 15 people walked out.

Now I'm sitting with Empress Stah while see eats her Rivita - I think ill have a kebab


Day 9 - After cab jumping (my new fav sport) after the Speigal Tent, we headhed back to provencial hell - CCblooms (ccblooms.com) horrific but entertaining.

We bumped into the Bearlesque boys who have a show a C Venue - we plan to see it tomorrow.

Early starts are exciting, I've adapted to the bad television and I see why the nation is obsessed with 'Supermarket Sweep' - I knocked for Celine to give her her morning coffee and her bed was empty! - seems like the rest of the cast apart from Spaz and I partied till 9am but goo thing they did - they caught the Metro hot off the press, and as you can see **** review and i get a lovely mention.

After my morning of couch and coffee, I dashed to Andrews flat to read the review and took a cab too Villager for the best burger I have ever had in my life - venison and red onion. buff.

So a relaxing day all round but I'm hyperactive and getting on Spaz' nerves.

loves it.