For those of you who don’t know your p spot from your g spot, Coco De Mer’s salons can provide an eye opening, liberating and educational experience.

Never one to shy away from the subject of sex, I have enjoyed as many cocktail-fuelled discussions of penis size and vibrators as any other red blooded woman. The thought that I may not be sexually liberated has never crossed my filthy mind.

Upon hearing that Coco De Mer – London’s most elegant purveyor of beautifully crafted sex objects and paraphernalia  – was organising a series of ‘salons’ to enlighten and educate about all aspects of sexuality and eroticism, I was intrigued. Filled with curiosity about whether my carnal knowledge extended beyond edible panties at Ann Summers and More Magazine’s position of the month, I booked myself into 3 of Coco De Mer’s erotic salons. Taking place throughout the year, the evening salons cover everything from Japanese Bondage to Pelvic Floor exercises, with a sprinkling of spanking and tantra in between.

Set up by Sam Roddick 10 years ago, Coco de Mer was created out of a wilful desire to educate, excite and erotically enlighten the women (and men) of London. Coco De Mer’s philosophy is to take its customers on a creative journey that explores the physical, intellectual and spiritual side of sexuality. An antithesis to the cheap plastic badly made and two dimensional sex shops that scatter the capital and flood the web, Coco De Mer only sells ethically sourced products made from natural materials and designed with the female in mind. Selling products very much at the high end of the spectrum, Roddick defends the expensive prices by pointing out that if we put expensive products on our faces and good quality food into our mouths then surely the same should apply everywhere else! Now with 3 stores in London and a successful online shop, Coco Mer surprisingly is still the only shop of its kind in the UK.

The salons all take place at Coco De Mer’s South Kensington shop on Draycott Avenue – a richly scented haven of leather harnesses, beautifully crafted toys, and a plethora of self-help and academic books all on the subject of sexuality. From the bum shaped tables to the rose bud cornices - that upon closer inspection resemble something else entirely – Coco De Mer is all about sex, but not in a threatening or vulgar way.

The first session I attended was entitled Coco de Mer's Sex Secrets, Tools & Tips. Led by Sam Roddick, the enigmatic and feisty founder of Coco De Mer, the class was a light hearted introduction to the world of sex. I was surprised at the variety within the audience. Made up of couples, singles and small groups of friends of both genders, the group seemed to range from lovers who were well versed in bondage, to shy types who wanted to learn some invaluable practical techniques. To begin, we were asked to partner up and blindfold each other.  Using taste, smell and sound tests, we were invited to explore and share our sensory reactions. As someone who normally associates the instruction ‘partner up’ with horrific memories of PE classes, I was relieved to discover that whispering what I had for dinner into a stranger’s ear wasn’t as cringeworthy as I’d feared. 

Throughout the evening, Roddick gave a unique insight into the use of toys and products, warning against the overuse of vibrators, championing glass or ceramic over plastic and reiterating the fact that pain does not equal pleasure. Questions from the audience are encouraged during the salon, and Roddick covered everything from cock rings to spanking techniques (apparently, a paddle is much more pleasurable than a wooden ruler).

After my introductory salon, I felt thirsty for more knowledge and was intrigued (and slightly bewildered) by the next evening’s subject,  Jade Love Egg Practice, led by trained Daoist expert, Uta  Demontis. To put it simply, jade love egg practice is a centuries old technique designed to improve the pelvic floor muscles, prevent conditions like prolapse, help circulation and of course, improve orgasms. The practice uses a series of eggs of decreasing size, all made from healing stones, such as jade, rose quartz or obsidian. These are inserted into the vagina and held in place for periods of time, or indeed for the whole day, to strengthen the muscles and improve physical and spiritual health. Attending the class with an open mind, I do believe the basic premise is a good one. It makes sense to exercise pelvic floor muscles in the same way as we would the rest of our body. However, the cynical side of me found the Ancient Chinese spiritual philosophy associated with the jade egg techniques a little hard to swallow. This was probably exacerbated by my inability to ‘smile at my yoni’ without breaking into an immature giggling fit. The women at the seminar, many of whom had recently had children, found the accompanying yoga exercises and breathing techniques to be incredibly helpful and the beatific Uta was the perfect advocate for an ancient technique that could definitely be worth exploring.

With my muscles clenched and my yoni smiling back at me, I eagerly awaited what was to be my final and favourite class - Unlocking your Body's Sexual Power. Led by the beautiful Dr Vena Ramphal, she instantly grabbed my attention by beginning the class with the statement - ‘gender is irrelevant’. Following a fascinating insight into Indian philosophy and erotic texts, we were each asked to pick an item in the shop that we feared. After much deliberation and a scramble for a leather horse bit and matching harness, we each presented our fearful products, all of which were restraints or gags. Dr Ramphal pointed out that our greatest fear is our loss of power, and the class would teach us to empower ourselves by listening to and having a dialogue with our body. Using breathing exercises and tantric movements, Dr Ramphal taught us that by seeing our sexuality as existing outside the erotic space; we can attune ourselves to understand what ‘works for me now’.

This class was made up of a much more intimate group, and rather than listening to a lecture, the conversation flowed, as we discussed our own thoughts and questions with each other. A few recently divorced attendees were keen to hear Dr Ramphal’s theory of magnetism and discuss flirting techniques while others merely wanted to share their own tips for self empowerment. One elegant silver haired lady informed the group that whenever she had a big board meeting, she found that wearing no knickers gave her a huge confidence boost! I left the salon feeling strong, energetic and full of self-belief.

The past fortnight has changed my perception of sexuality, gender and desire, and opened up my mind and my senses to a whole new perspective on sex that I never had even considered before.

In a world that is filled with a fake, cheap and brutal image of sex – from the inflated breasts and fake tan we see on magazine covers to the easily accessible and degrading hard core porn on the internet - I truly believe that Coco De Mer is doing something important. It is too easy to align our own sexuality with the common commercialised and male-orientated viewpoint.

As varied as they are, the salons don’t suit all tastes, but they do provide insight into a whole world of fascinating theories and practices that are ripe for exploration. Providing a warm environment that encourages open discussion, the salons are not intimidating in the slightest and defy any scary feminist stereotype. Coco De Mer’s salons are concerned with beauty, pleasure, exploration and education, and I thoroughly recommend that all women should attend at least one. Divorcee or in long term relationship – sexually active or shy and reserved – everyone is welcome. As one salon attendee said, ‘It feels like there has been this huge sex party going on, and I’ve only just been invited.”

Salons take place at Coco de Mer, 108, Draycott Avenue, London SW3 3AE. All Salons cost from £69 per person. Salons are running from March 2011 and are available to book on-line by visiting www.coco-de-mer.com  or by visiting one of the stores.