Normal gift guides are rubbish. Recommending certain presents for 'dads' or 'best friends' is stupidly arbitrary. So we decided to come up with a gift guide for some of the different types of people we all know - the show off, the sweet tooth, the grinch, the animal lover; we'll have gift recommendations for all these and more over the next fortnight. And how did we come up with this encyclopaedic gem? We asked our friends 3 questions;

1) what they'd realistically like for Christmas e.g a giant toblerone, new trainers

2) what they'd like in a dream world e.g a cashemere onesie, a pet badger, a yacht

3) what they'll be buying their friends

And finally we added what we'd buy for that person. We won't actually be buying them this stuff, but it's the thought that counts, right?

THE INSEPARABLES- THE BROKEN HEARTS DJs (pictured above, with Santa)

Realistic gift: Tickets to see The Nutcracker, it always seems like the Christmas-iest thing to do. And of course anything from Fortnum and Mason - Christmas destination numero uno!

Dream gift: As ever, amazing Terry de Havilland shoes. He has a pop up shop at the moment just off Carnaby St so there's no excuse!

What they're giving: If we could, we'd give everyone we know tickets to the Showzam! Festival of Circus and Magic in February, along with accommodation in the finest B&Bs in Blackpool. We play at the Carnival Ball every year in the Tower Ballroom - it's got to be our favourite room in the world - so grand! And the Tower itself is amazing - there's an aquarium, circus and clown museum. You never need to leave. 

Run-Riot's gift: We're a huge fan of Amber and Nisha's matching outfits, so we'd get them a pair of bespoke jumpers from Wool and the Gang with their names knitted on.

THE PHILOSOPHER- ALAIN DE BOTTON

Realistic gift: I'd love to get a luxurious woollen blanket as I'm always getting cold in my study.

Dream gift: In my dreams, I'd get a reformation of culture so it could guide and enhance life more effectively than at present.

What he's giving: I'll be giving everyone a copy of my latest book, Art as Therapy, a big glossy coffee table book from Phaidon. 

Run-Riot's gift: The brainy are hard to buy for, but we think we have just the thing with this Phrenology screenprint by artist Paul Bommer.

THE LOOKER: MODEL NAOMI SHIMADA (above)

Realistic gifts: Sleepy Jones custom floral pyjamas , Mark Leslie Chin Orange Pave Monster glass earrings, a Zojirushi rice cooker and a White Fujifilm instax mini camera with hello kitty film!

Dream gift: My fantasy gift is to wake up as an amazing driver with a fully fledged driver's license- living between London & NY hasn't improved my driving skills!

What she's giving: My stocking filler for all my friends and family would be copies of my all girl fanzine - 'A-Genda' as well as santal 26 candles by le labo!

Run-Riot's gift: If you're lucky enough to be friends with a model, they probably have trouble finding clothes for tall people. Taller than your Average make gorgeous, simple basics for the taller lady, including comfy leggings and t-shirts perfect for travelling in.

THE MOVER: MARAWA THE AMAZING (above, with Santa, and below)

Realistic Gift: a pair of sunglasses with GPS. I have lost 2 pairs this year - ridiculous. And some LED Hoola Hoops that dont break - have spent £2,000 on hoops this year - all broken.

Dream gift: World peace. The really obvious thing. Everyone just needs to CALM DOWN. We need to just get on with fixing this planet - not adding to the problems (the plastic in my hoops is recycled)

What she's giving: Everyone's getting hoops for Christmas, naturally! Because you can never have enough and I have so many amazing tapes and colours it would be wrong not to!

Run-Riot's gift: Hula-hooping for a living has given Marawa abs of steel- so we'd get her this crop top and shorts combo in tropical print by My Tribe.

THE ANIMAL LOVER: ARTIST LAUREN BAKER (below, with Dude)

Realistic gift: For Christmas I would love some pieces from my favourite designers - Crystal rock jewellery from Only Child London or a party costume from Alter Ego.

Dream gift: My dream present would be a dwarf pig as a pal for Dude my chihuahua.

What she's giving: I will be gifting special people small pieces of my artwork - like a gold-plated finger, an embellished rat skull or a hand-painted deer skull. People love recieving my Skull Art Workshop Gift Certificates as it's an unusual present allowing people to get creative and make their own art in a fun environment - they usually get snapped up around Christmas.

Run-Riot's gift: This skull doggie bow-tie is perfect for Dude given his mum's job.

THE SWEET TOOTH: ANGEL ADOREE (above, with red hair)

Realistic gift: I don't ever want anything for Christmas material. It's cheesy, but my only wish is that my grandparents are both well enough to make it to ours as we have promised to spoil them rotten

Dream gift: well.... on top of my family all being together healthy and happy I wouldn't mind a Chateaux in France!

What she's giving: I've had a baby this year.. so everyone is going to have to receive something cheesy and annoying (cup/calender/card) with an image of him doing something 'funny on'! Everyone will also get some home-made sweets as I've had such a fun year writing my new book- The Vintage Sweets Book.

Run-Riot's gift: If people work in food, it can be hard to know what to buy them, as they can generally make it all themselves. So instead, combine it with an experience- we'd get Angel and her little one the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory inspired afternoon tea at One Aldwych, as well as tickets to the show.

THE HERMITS: REBECCA AND TIM OF GOLDEN FABLE (Rebecca pictured above)

Realistic gift: We have recently moved into a new home, so would love some house related things to put in it! Perhaps some lovely warm blankets for the winter, or some kitchen gadgets. I'm also becoming more and more interested in gardening so would love a good pair of loppers for pruning- rock 'n roll, I know! A ticket to go and see Penguin Cafe play in the Union Chapel next February would also be lovely.

Dream gift: Our own studio in a remote location!Plus a goat/pig/small farm. Perhaps attached to the studio?!

What they're giving: A variety of homemade gifts- Apple and cranberry chutney, spiced biscuits and sweet spiced nuts. I might try my hand at making fudge too.

Run-Riot's gift: Er...Angel's book on sweet making?! Also, a lovely hamper is always a good gift for a family or a couple, especially if they live-gasp-outside London where it can be harder to get speciality stuff. We love Brixton Cornercopia's Christmas hampers- many of the contents are grown, foraged or made locally.

THE SHOW-OFF: SCOTTEE (above, as self)

Realistic gift: Ever the optimist I'm hoping that this festive season will see Santa deliver a bag of Kiehl's stuff, a pamper day at Murdoch London, a shed load of Paul A Young chocolate and every perfume Penhaligon's have ever made, but the reality is I'm facing a month of office Christmas parties, holding back the hair of a vommiting Jenny from HR in a disabled toilet whilst listening to Geri Haliwells 'You're The Other Half of Me'. Merry Christmas.

What he's giving: Giving people? I'm all about giving back since last week when Boris Johnson said we should all stop picking on the really rich because they pay tax and employ people and they're a minority too *stomps feet*. I wanted to think of a way I could utilise my skills as a community minded artist - I'm thinking of volunteering on Christmas Eve at a city boys coke'd up house party - I might play some team building games with a parachute or get them to express themselves through the medium of dance.

Run-Riot's gift: Eastpak have just released a load of limited edition rucksacks designed by artists from round the world- this fairytale castle one is sure to get Scottee spotted- and he can be happy in the knowledge we've done our bit, as all the proceeds go to Designers Against Aids.

THE DJ : BLONDE AMBITION aka DEANNE OLIVER EVANS (above, as elf)

Realistic gift: Realistically this year for Christmas I'd like a little scraggy haired dog named Lenny...buy hopefully my boyfriend and I will be getting just this in the coming months, I'm just impatient!

Dream gift: Rather unrealistically I'd like to be given my own tropical private island, where the hot, hot sun shines every day, the waters are crystal clear and I live off coconuts, cucumber cocktails and ripened tomatoes! Oh, and all my friends and family live here too and world peace yah yah yah...

What she's giving: Good times via The Lovesick Christmas party on 20th December.

Run-Riot's gift: When she's on that desert island she's going to need a sound system- we like this picnic blaster. Also good for London parks if that island thing doesn't come off.

THE SCIENTIST: KAT ARNEY (above, contemplating the miracle of the virgin birth)

Kat Arney is a science writer and broadcaster by day, including making the monthly Naked Genetics podcast and documentaries for BBC Radio 4.

Realistic gift: What I really want for Christmas, as well as a chance to put my feet up and get on with the science book I’m meant to be writing, are some magnetic nanodots. A lot of my more nerdy friends have them and they’re so much fun to fiddle with, so I’d love to have some of my own. I also want enough people to support my band Sunday Driver’s pledge campaign so we can release our gorgeous new EP of Indian songs - it ends at Christmas, so smashing our target would be a fantastic present to wake up to.

Dream gift: In an ideal world, I’d like an email from a big-shot record label saying they want to sign both my bands, and a contract from the BBC for me to replace Brian Cox as their leading science presenter. I can dream, can’t I?

What she's giving: I love giving people science books for Christmas, and would definitely recommend Creation by Adam Rutherford, Bad Pharma by Ben Goldacre, My Beautiful Genome by Lone Frank, The Emperor of All Maladies by Siddartha Mukherjee and Mutants by Armand Marie Leroi for the science fan in your life. There’s also a lovely eBook out now - A Passion for Science - with chapters by me and a whole bunch of great writers celebrating the stories of women in science. And if you’d rather give music, of course I’d highly recommend The Mutiny by Sunday Driver for a Steampunk Bollywood kind of vibe or Rushes EP  by my other band Talk in Colour, if cinematic electronic future-pop is more your thing.

Run-Riot's gift: Kat sounds like she already has a fairly full library, but we'd also recommend No Brow press's briliant NeuroComic.

THE AUTHOR: DAMIAN BARR 

Realistic gift: I'd really like an original Stan Gallo as above. California is one of my favourite places and I hide out there every January to avoid the seasonal evils of England. Palm Springs and SF are my favourite destinations. If I can't have this poster I will at least smile like this on holiday.

Dream gift: A house in Palm Springs. I want to breath dry desert air and do nothing but read for weeks on end. Maybe I'll make maitais.

What he's giving: I will be giving books, as always.

Run-Riot's gift: Since Damian's memoir 'Maggie and Me' (about growing up in the shadow of Margaret Thatcher)has just been named Memoir of the Year by The Sunday Times, we'll be buying him these Maggie Thatcher man pants. We're sure he's already been bought them, but who could resist?

Join us next week for what to buy the Grinch in your life, the party girls and guys, the gardener, the pop star, the music buffs and bookworms.