There were a few things I forgot to mention on my Art-school checklist.

1. TV monitors suspended from ceiling or placed in obscure position, displaying very boring views (quite often the sea on a bad day, or industrial landscape.)

2. Installation with an obviously anti-capitalist/American message, using dollar-bills to form a) A hole or b) A crucifix. The piece in question has won "The .......... prize for innovative thinking, and has thus been awarded a cash prize of £1000."

3. A room full of functional furniture randomly placed doing nothing. There might be Oil on the floor (something to do with global warming or the war in Iraq.)

4. A giant illustration that represents a microcosm of all human life, and involves lots of tiny people running around fucking and killing eachother; cowboys, people hanging themselves, 'oppressed people,' animals, bankers, slaves etc

OR

A giant illustration that is so busy and devoid of an actual point, that if you draw a penis on it nobody would realise the work had been vandalised.

5. Drawing or etching of a cunt (organ, not person) by 21 year old sexually frustrated/'provocative' male student.

6. Long Boring video piece about slavery, displaying artist 'in chains.'